Cyber Monday feels different this year.

Amazon’s servers are sweating, the pricing bots are fist-fighting in a dark room somewhere, and for a brief 24-hour window the algorithm forgets what things are supposed to cost.

That’s where I come in.

I spent the morning dodging fake discounts, sponsored garbage, and mystery brands named “TechCozyProMax” to find the real deals - the ones with actual value, actual clout, and actual “throw it in the cart before it expires” energy.

Ready?
Deep breath.
Scroll.

Let’s check it out.

CYBER MONDAY PICKS.

🔋 MAGSAFE, POWER & PHONE GEAR

Anker MagGo 10,000mAh Qi2 Power Bank – 31% Off 🔥🔥🔥
15W magnetic fast charging, ultra-slim, and basically the final boss of MagSafe battery packs.
👉 Charge the future

Baseus Picogo Ultra-Slim MagSafe Battery - 30% Off 🔥
0.3 inches thick. Card-sized. Slaps onto your phone like a credit card that gives you power instead of debt.
👉 Snap on the pocket juice

ESR 5-Card MagSafe Wallet (RFID) – 45% Off 🔥🔥
MagSafe wallet that actually holds more than two cards. Slim, secure, and built like it wants to replace your real wallet.
👉 Upgrade your pocket carry

UGREEN 65W GaN 4-Port Charger – 39% Off
Your laptop charger, phone charger, and iPad charger all got together and became ONE THING. GaN power = tiny but terrifyingly fast.
👉 Fast-charge your entire life

Anker MagGo UFO 3-in-1 Qi2 Charger – 36% Off
Folds flat, charges your iPhone/AirPods/Watch at once, and looks like alien tech. Perfect travel flex.
👉 Summon the UFO charger

Spigen Ring Grip Stand – 40% Off
Unbreakable finger grip + kickstand that won’t fall off in 6 hours. Cheap, simple, elite.
👉 Add the ring of power

🔪 EDC & POCKET CANDY

CIVIVI Baby Banter 2 – 25% Off 🔥🔥
Small blade, insane action, 14C28N steel, and designed by knife legend Ben Petersen. Pocket scalpel energy.
👉 Flip the Baby Banter deal

CRKT Minimalist Bowie – 32% Off 🔥
Micarta handle. Featherweight. Cult classic. The “holds better than it has any right to” fixed blade.
👉 Grab the Bowie fix

OLIGHT ArkPro Flat Flashlight – 20% Off 🔥🔥🔥
1500 lumens, UV light, green beam, spotlight, floodlight - all in a flat body that slips into your pocket like a credit card of blinding light.
👉 Blind responsibly

Leatherman Skeletool CX – 22% Off
Minimalist 7-in-1 multitool that somehow fits a full-size plier, blade, and screwdrivers into a 3oz frame.
👉 Add the multitool flex

TOPAKY Waterproof Dual-Flame Torch Lighter – 27% Off
Windproof, waterproof, dual jet flames, refillable. Tactical pyromania in your pocket.
👉 Light up the upgrade

🔐 SECURITY, PRIVACY & PROTECT-THE-BAG TECH

eufy SoloCam S340 Solar Cam – 40% Off (extra coupon) 🔥🔥🔥
360° pan & tilt, solar-powered, no subscription fees. The “install-and-forget” security upgrade.
👉 Watch your whole yard

Ring Indoor Cam – 50% Off 🔥🔥
1080p indoor cam for the price of a sandwich. Set it and spy check like a budget James Bond.
👉 Secure your space for $24

SentrySafe Fireproof Safe Box – 19% Off
Protects passports, crypto backups, documents, USB drives, and all the “if my house burned down I’d cry” items.
👉 Fortify the essentials

🍦 LUXURY HOME TECH (Because Why Not)

Ninja CREAMi Swirl – 20% Off
The internet’s favorite “make literally anything into ice cream” machine. Soft serve, frozen yogurt, custard, sorbets - your fridge is now Dairy Queen.
👉 Spin your soft serve dreams

Cyber Monday is a scam - unless you know exactly where to look.

Now you do.

Thanks for checking it out!

I rest my case,

EXCESSORIZE ME.